It’s early on a Sunday morning, and I have been sitting here contemplating what to write. I’ve wanted to share our latest adventure with the world, but a piece of me has been fighting it. It takes a lot to be vulnerable and open about such an emotional battle, but it also provides me with a sense of healing. Our path has been a windy one, and it is far from over, but I feel as though we are on the right track.
The past year and a half has been difficult, emotional and trying. Lots of money was spent with hopes that we would be starting our little family, and with great disappointment, we were unsuccessful. After our failed attempts, we decided to take a small break and let some of the emotional turmoil dissipate, as well as our bank accounts to recover. IVF treatment is expensive, financially, emotionally and physically. Couples that fight that battle are true warriors.
Early this year we found out that my insurance had picked up infertility treatment. We were over the moon! After countless phone calls with the insurance company and to our corporate office, we found that it wasn’t what we had hoped. On paper it sounds as if we had amazing coverage, but the truth of the matter is that since this is a “new” coverage, it truly does not decrease costs, and could potentially be more expensive. It blows my mind that the very first IVF treatment was done in 1977, and we still do not have adequate coverage for families. How does this happen? I could get on my soap box and rant about this, but I digress.
Two weeks ago I had a strong feeling that maybe we were on the wrong pathway. I sent Evan a text early one morning and asked if we could start up the foster / adopt process. Being the wise man that he is, he said we would discuss it that night. He knows that in the morning my mind runs wild and I dream up big things! 😉 That evening we decided to do what we do best. We went to our hole in the wall bar, had a beverage and in true Evan fashion, we made a physical list of pros and cons for each process. We wrote out each available option and compiled the positives and negatives. After that we got into a deep conversation about what truly matters to us when it comes to starting a family. When it all boiled down we both agreed that passing on our DNA would be wonderful, but any child that we are blessed with would be loved equally! I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I immediately started making plans, that’s how I roll. I set up an orientation, scheduled our two required classes, arranged for our CPR certification class, and so on. Yesterday we completed the Parent focus class with Koinonia, and it was eye opening and made us feel excited. The process can take time and placement could take even longer. But we are hopeful and excited about this adventure. We are able to set “filters” on what we are willing to accept, and we are going to be selfish and be patient. We want a 0-1 year old, and for it to be adoption ready. The wait could be long, potentially up to a couple years, but we feel it will all be worth it!
We learned that over 70% of children who are placed into foster care typically reunite with their families. That scares us, but we are hoping that we get a chance at a permanent placement, and if we have a child come in and then go, we will have to understand that we are making an impact on fragile lives. With all of that said, we are excited, anxious, nervous and more importantly hopeful! ❤️
5 thoughts on “What truly matters”
A friend of mine struggled like you. Im happy to tell you she did foster adopt and received a baby girl the day or so after she was born. Its been years and adoption papers were recently signed. They are so blessed and you will be too.
Be of huge courage and faith my friend.
Correction… its been 2 years…
That’s so sweet!! Thank you for sharing!! ❤️ we are excited and have faith!!
Fantastic, Amazing things happen when we are open and willing, the best of things take time!
Thank you, Terri!! ❤️